Bradley Wiggins: A lot of my cycling career was about running away from my past

Former Tour de France winner Bradley Wiggins has told the BBC that a huge part of his success on the road and track was "intrinsically linked to my father and the lack of a father figure as a child".

In a frank and emotional interview with the BBC, Wiggins opened up about what drove him to success and the imposter syndrome that affected him off the bike.

Wiggins became the first British rider to win the men’s Tour de France in 2012 and won five Olympic gold medals during a glittering career.

However, behind the successful athlete lay an individual with deep emotional trauma stemming from his childhood and the unhealthy, and ultimately tragic relationship he had with his late father.

Wiggins was knighted in 2013, a year after his Tour and Olympic gold in London, and it was at that point that his off-bike struggles began to hit home.

“I really wanted to be successful and I guess that stemmed from my family valuing achievement. The day I received it [the knighthood] was when this syndrome hit me like a brick. I couldn't receive it on the day when most athletes did due to racing commitments and I was there with a lot of military personnel who were getting their bravery awards and Victoria crosses. Queuing up with them was quite a humbling experience. I felt anything but a hero that day. That was quite a fraudulent day when it came to feeling like a deserved to receive a knighthood,” Wiggins told the BBC.

Wiggins began cycling as a child and followed in the footsteps of his father, Gary Wiggins, an Australian rider who raced in Europe during the 1970s and 1980s. He left the Wiggins household when Bradley Wiggins was a small child and there was no contact between the pair for almost 15 years.

When Bradley Wiggins began to gain a name for himself on the track as a teenager his father got back in contact and travelled from Australia to Belgium to watch his son race. It became a seminal moment in the British rider’s young life. He was 19 at the time.

“A lot of my cycling career was about running away from my past. It was a distraction, a good distraction. A lot of it was intrinsically linked to my father and the lack of a father figure as a child,” he said.

“I remember writing notes on the back of photos I had of him when I was about 12 or 13 years old and letters to this person who was out there, or who wasn't out there because we’d heard all sorts of stories about him being murdered and in prison. He came over to Belgium and a race I was doing, and I’ll never forget it. It was probably the hardest day of my life, meeting him.

“Within a week he said: ‘You’ll never be as good as your old man’. I was in the centre of the track in Gent, Belgium. I was racing against men and shining and he couldn’t handle it, the attention on me. He came in close, and squeezed my arm, so no one else could hear. It was quite a haunting experience. From that day on there was this drive for so long after to be better than him.”

Wiggins' father died in 2008 after a fight at a party that resulted in an open verdict from the coroner’s court in Australia.

His son would go on to become one of the most well-known and successful athletes ever produced in Great Britain. However, behind the athlete was a person struggling with their mental health and imposter syndrome.

“I needed help. I was really struggling with my mental health. Funnily enough, it was when I was my most funny and on the television and no one knew. It was like the tears of a clown. I was great on the outside, funny, manic, the star of the show and crying behind closed doors.”

When asked by the BBC what imposter syndrome means, Wiggins answered: “An inability to believe that your achievements, that your training and hard work have resulted in you being successful.”

In 2019 Wiggins hit a low. He’d retired from the sport in 2016 but was finding it hard to reconcile the person he was with the former athlete and his traumatic past.

“I was losing the plot and I smashed all my trophies, my BBC Sports Personality trophy, my knighthood trophy. Not my medals and achievements from cycling but the things that came from a byproduct.”

Wiggins now works with various charities in the UK and talks openly about his battles with mental health. His main passion, however, is being a father to his two children, one of whom, Ben, has already made a name for himself on the track and road as a promising rider.

Read more: Ben Wiggins: The dream is to ride for Ineos Grenadiers one day

“It brightens my world up watching him cycle. I’ve got this healthy relationship with him. I’ll always be his biggest fan but I can still stick my arm around him and say ‘Don’t go out on your bike today, have a day off’. He is amazing, he’s an inspiration. It makes me really emotional because he’s my hero in a way.”

Watch the full Wiggins interview here.

Tour de France

• Dates 29 Jun - 21 Jul
• Race Length 3,492 kms
• Race Category Elite Men